Inflection Point

     I sat down to blog a few times over the past three weeks, but I just couldn't bring myself to start typing.  It wasn't writers' block that held me back.  Believe me, I've had plenty to write about.  Initially it was laziness, then shame.  When thoughts are put into words and words onto paper (or a computer screen in this case), they somehow take on more meaning--become more real.  I guess it's because the written word is more difficult to change than the mind, and thoughts and feelings are harder to escape once they've been recorded.  I can continue to neglect the blog, as I've neglected the training schedule lately, but if blogging is anything like running--and I'm sure it is--the longer I wait, the harder it will be to get back on track.  I keep telling myself that missing a few runs isn't a big deal, but proof by assertion is not truth, and lying to myself is only making matters worse.  Since this blog (and its readers) is my only source of accountability aside from my innate self-discipline which has proven ineffective, I can't afford to avoid it any longer.  With just under eight weeks until the marathon, it's about time that I face the facts.  So here is my confession--the cold, hard truth (and it's consequences)--and hopefully an inflection point.

     I've started down a slippery slope.  Until two weeks ago I hadn't missed a long run.  It's now February 21, and I've only logged 41 miles (five runs) this month.  To put that into perspective, I should be at 81 miles.  The worst part is that I've skipped two long, weekend runs--the runs that are not only the most important for building endurance, but are also nearly impossible to make up (It's hard to run 17 miles or ~2.5 hours during the week).  I keep trying to justify my decisions to skip the long runs with excuses that sound good on the surface but are insufficient, at best.  I'll wait for the weather to improve.  I need to prepare for interviews.  I don't have clean running clothes.  I don't feel like running.  I'll run tomorrow instead.  I make a lot of excuses, but I really need to stop because I'm out of chances to make up for lost time.

     When I signed up for the marathon, I was well aware of the commitment I was making--the 26.2 miles I'm going to run on April 18, the $3,250 that I'm going to raise for the Flutie Foundation, and the hundreds of hours (and miles) I'm going to spend running in order to prepare.  So from this point on, Mr. Noncommittal is  going to start honoring his commitment.  I'll make up for lost time to the extent that I can, and unless it's absolutely necessary I won't skip another run.  And since it's in writing, you can mark my words.